


The Most Chaoticful Time of the Year

by thejillyfish



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Bickering, Christmas Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Exactly What It Says on the Tin, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 06:25:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2802752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thejillyfish/pseuds/thejillyfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Izaya and Shizuo go Christmas shopping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Most Chaoticful Time of the Year

**Author's Note:**

> These kinds of ideas flutter through my head while I'm at work, especially during the holidays! So here it is. Nothin' more than good ol' fashioned Christmas fluff.
> 
> Happy holidays to all that celebrate them!

“Buy one pair of seasonal socks, get one pair free!”

“Come inside and get our special offer on holiday themed sweaters!”

“Excuse me!”

“Coming through!”

“Watch out!”

“Ho Ho Ho, Merry Christmas!!”

Whether the mall was a scene of utmost discord, or ultimate holiday cheer, was hard to say. The stores blasted holiday music so loudly it was almost a competition to be heard, to attract the most customers. Twinkle lights and plastic decorations crowded the archways and overspace. Poor, underpaid employees stood around the halls, handing out flyers to tired shoppers who were still, after weeks of this, looking for the best deals.

Izaya did not care for holiday shopping in particular - he usually didn’t partake. Malls, however, were excellent people-watching places, especially during the chaos of the holidays. Everyone had their wits about them, hustling to this store from that store, from one promo to another. He could spend hours on a bench in the mall, just watching frenzied shoppers scurry by him. Silly humans, they stressed themselves so much just to insure that their kids got the latest and greatest whatsits and gadgets.

_Gotta get Daughter that new smartphone, gotta get Baby that new plaything, gotta Husband that new big screen television. The ones with the bells and the whistles._

Usually, Izaya simply rolled his eyes at the lot of them. This year, though, he was one of them.

“Do you think Celty would wear this?”

Probed out of his thoughts and people observations, Izaya turned to find Shizuo holding up a navy blue sweater with subtler patterns knitted over the chest, but not the sleeves. It was indeed a nice garment, but maybe not one for a mythical creature of the night.

“Does Celty need clothes that are not supernaturally imposed on her body?” asked Izaya.

“Maybe it would be nice to have clothes _other_ than black smoke,” said Shizuo.

“Maybe, but not something that granny-looking.”

Shizuo looked at the sweater and frowned. He hung it back on the wrack, moving on. Izaya followed, not searching for anything specific. They had spent the last hour and a half in the mall, slowly checking names off of a list Shizuo had, a list that was apparently one for Izaya to abide by as well. Now that Shizuo and Izaya were _Shizuo’nIzaya_ , as many put it.

It was their first Christmas together, and they didn’t really have a system worked out yet. Which meant a lot of winging it and improvisation. And a lot of arguing. A lot.

Once and a while Shizuo would pick up something else, Izaya would make a vague sound of disapproval, and Shizuo would glare at him threateningly.

“What’s wrong with this?!” Shizuo would ask.

“Nothing…” Izaya would lie.

“Like hell, ‘nothing’! What was with that noise?”

Izaya would repeat the noise, and Shizuo would try to murder him in the middle of the store.

It was an endless, vicious cycle. What seemed like forever passed by, and not one other name had been check off Shizuo’s list. _Their_ list, supposedly.

Looking down at the list that was haphazardly written on a napkin in Shizuo’s handwriting, Izaya saw that they weren’t even halfway done. They’d settled on a cigarette holder for Tom, fancy soap for Vorona, and a doll for Akane.

Surprisingly, Izaya had picked their gifts. Only because Shizuo was excruciatingly slow at making decisions, and Izaya did so very calculatingly. Years of knowing exactly what to bring Yakuza bosses in order to charm them had trained Izaya to be an expert gifter, a pro holiday shopper.

If he cared, though. He didn’t care.

With Tom, Vorona, and Akane done, that left Celty, Shinra, Kasuka, Shizuo’s parents, and a small, collective something for the gang in Togusa’s van.

Personally, Izaya didn’t care to indulge any of these people with gifts. He’d lived his whole life without giving someone a Christmas present - no, not even his family - and he didn’t revel in the thought of beginning now.

 _But you’re someone who dates Shizu-chan, now_ , a voice in his mind reminded him, and Izaya scowled. Why should that matter? No one in his adult life ever gave Izaya a Christmas present, and he didn’t entirely want one. Then, he’d just be obligated to return the favor. And that was what the holiday was about, in Izaya’s opinion.

 _Obligations_.

Gifts did not exist in Izaya’s world. Presents? Just for the sake of giving? For the sake of another’s happiness? No, no, nothing like that made sense to Izaya. To him, life was a series of exchanges. Give and take, not give and give some more.

 _You do this for me, you get me that, and I will do something for you, I will give you something in return._ That was how it worked.

But did that still apply in a relationship? Would Shizuo expect for the two of them to exchange sappy gifts on Christmas morning? Izaya squinted suspiciously at the back of Shizuo, who was examining a display of small keychains that might just suit a vehicle full of otakus.

 _Probably not_ , Izaya wanted to believe, because Shizuo was sickeningly sweet, selfless, and simple. Shizuo didn’t know a whole lot, but a lot of what he did know was about Izaya.

To Izaya’s surprise, though, Shizuo had a fair share of holiday spirit. There was a small, modestly decorated tree in their apartment. And the other day, Izaya swore he heard Shizuo singing Nat King Cole in the shower.

Izaya did not exactly share the enthusiasm. When it came to Christmas, Izaya enjoyed the storm before the calm. The whirlwind of activity in the city, the lights in the trees and in people’s eyes, the scramble and the brawl. December built up like a crescendo, tension building and building. Izaya flourished in it. Everyone was out and about, and for those twenty-four days they were apart of his own grand celebration of human greed and gluttony.

And then, come the 25th, it was over, like snuffing out the last candle.

Chaos was replaced with deafening silence. People closed up shop, and family’s shut the door behind them, locking Izaya out. The warmth of a million’s company out on the streets became the cold emptiness of Izaya’s lonesome apartment.

It was a one day vacation, Izaya told himself.

But this year he wouldn’t be spending Christmas day in his apartment. At least, he didn’t think so. He somewhat planned to wake up - not in his old, luxury apartment - in the slightly rundown apartment Shizuo owned. The one that Izaya had unwittingly moved himself into and had been waking up in for the last seven months. Christmas would just be another one of those mornings.

Thankfully, Shizuo had not tried to push the Christmas cheer onto Izaya. The shopping trip had been Shizuo’s idea, sure, but it had been Izaya that suggested the mall so that he could people watch while Shizuo did his shopping. He must have figured Izaya was more into the atmosphere than the actual shopping.

 _Don’t patronize me!_ Izaya internally screamed. _I could celebrate your garish holiday if I wanted to!_ Like banging on soundproof glass.

Izaya finally succumbed when he saw Shizuo almost buy Shinra underpants.

“Stop! Stop, stop, put those back,” Izaya grabbed the package out of Shizuo’s hand and put it back on the shelf. “Look, if my name is going to be on these gifts as well, then they’re gonna be damn good gifts. There’s a lot I’m good at, but knowing what people want is part of my profession.”

Shizuo’s eyes narrowed daringly. “Then what would _you_ get them?”

“Hmm…” Izaya’s eyes scanned the store, and moments later he honed in on a set of kitchen utensils that would perfectly suit a mad scientist.

 

Forty-five minutes later, Shizuo had an armful of boxes, as well as several bags swung around his neck and shoulders.

Not everything was a gift, admittedly. A lot was just from Izaya to himself. However, there was more there than just for the people on the list they’d started with. For example, Izaya might have found two matching hoodies that would suit two troublesome twins he knew.

 _It was a good deal_ , he told himself, _it’d be a crime if I ignored it._

Trailing behind Izaya on their way to the next store, Shizuo grumbled and griped. “Why the hell aren’t you carrying anything?!”

“What?” Izaya looked back at him, nonchalantly, “I’m doing all the work.”

“I’m not your pack mule!” Shizuo snapped.

“Aren’t you?” Izaya smirked, and got whacked with a heavy bag as punishment.

“Alright, where to next?” asked Shizuo.

“Let’s go into this knick-knack store to see if they have an ornament for Celty,” said Izaya, pointing towards a storefront that positively shouted Christmas cheer. “Her and Shinra’s tree was pretty barren, last time I was over there. I think she wants to build up their own collection. That woman has an almost pathetic fascination with baubles.”

Without any objections, Shizuo huffed a wordless response.

Inside of the store looked like an elf vomited the North Pole into one room. There were toy displays everywhere, shelves upon shelves of gifts, a wrapping station, and thankfully - a tree full of ornaments for sale.

“How about this one?” Shizuo picked up one that was a black cat.

Izaya shook his head. “Already got one like that. Let’s get her something elegant, like this…” He picked up a classic ball ornament, but it was decorated in a silver and gold pattern. The glass reflected the light beautifully, and the price was reasonable.

However, Shizuo did not look as convinced. Izaya wasn’t sure if he should find it cute or infuriating that Shizuo might think he knew better.

“What about these?” Shizuo pointed to two wooden reindeer ones that were probably no more than 100¥.

“ _Those?_ ” Izaya rose an eyebrow, “Sure, why don’t we just tell Celty and Shinra directly how little we care to spend on them? Geesh, Shizu-chan…” he was already picking up a packaged version of the ball ornament. “How did you afford this every year without me?”

“Never spent more than 1500¥ for a person.”

“Wow. Cheap.”

Shizuo pushed him into a display of Christmas lights.

On their way to the registers, something caught Izaya’s eye. An idea crossed Izaya’s mind and he immediately had to stop in his tracks.

“Shizu-chan.”

Shizuo looked up from a “What?”

Izaya held up the packaged red suit, enclosed with black boots, a fake belly, a hat, and a jolly white beard.

“No.”

“But Shizu-chan!” Izaya pleaded, “Think of the children!”

“What children?” Shizuo gaped, “We don’t know anybody with kids!”

“You know!” Izaya gestured widely, “‘The Children!’”

Shizuo looked around, grimacing, expecting to see a flood of toddlers. “ _What_ children?!”

“Nevermind,” Izaya sighed. “Too bad… I thought it’d be kinda sexy, but…”

Shizuo grabbed the package and chucked it across the store, striding away but not before Izaya noticed his rosy red cheeks.

They got in line with about twenty other people, but at least it seemed to be moving quickly. As if there wasn’t enough to look out, even the queue was surrounded by potential gifts and purchase. Mostly there was candy and treats, but there were also regular items. Some weren’t even Christmas themed.

It wasn’t until they were at a register that Izaya noticed the display of boxset kitchenware. Mugs, glasses, and utensils. Many were Christmas themed, and others had no affiliation and just a nice design. One, though, the one that was definitely the most hideous, jumped out at Izaya.

They had pictures of cows on them.

Izaya immediately thought of the oblivious man beside him, the one with the love of all things dairy. Plus, Shizuo had barely any dishware in his apartment. Before Izaya had brought some from his own, Shizuo had been using paper plates and plastic utensils. It had been pathetic.

Inwardly sighing with the fact that he was about to conform to this tiresome holiday’s rituals, Izaya received their bagged purchase from the cashier, a young woman, and shoved it at Shizuo.

“Take these and wait outside the store while I pay.” Izaya handed him the bag.

Shizuo huffed and he puffed, but he ultimately did just that. Once he was out of sight, Izaya smirked and put the boxset on the counter. “If I could get this, too, please.”

The cashier shared a knowing grin with him, nodding. “Sure thing!”

 

Reconvening with Shizuo outside, Izaya had to lie and say his new bag was filled with sour gummies, Shizuo’s least favorite. Then, he checked the list of names to see what was next on their agenda.

“The only one left is… Oh, looks like it’s baby bro.”

Izaya did not miss the color draining from Shizuo’s face. Was Shizuo nervous about getting a gift for Kasuka?

Without either having so much as a clue as to where to start looking for a gift for a brother that was also famous, they walked into the department store. That way every route was covered in one place.

If there was one person on the list that Izaya had no care about, it was Kasuka. Instead, Izaya was looking around generally, seeing if anything would stand out to him.

Something did. A pair of dark brown and black boots that were as attractive as they were sensible. Built to withstand rain or snow, they had rubber on the bottom, on the toe, and on the heel. There was also a warm fur inside the boot that matched the trim on the end of the boot, which would reach halfway up one’s calf. They had both laces and a zipper, and everything about them looked warm and pleasant. Checking the price, Izaya saw that they were on sale and in the range of anyone with a low level job, probably.

Izaya wanted them.

“Shizu-chan,” he called, pointing at the boots on display. “I want these.”

Shizuo blinked. “Yeah?”

“Mhmm!”

An eyebrow arched on Shizuo’s forehead. “...So get them?”

“No but I want you to get them for me,” Izaya explained. “For Christmas.”

“Huh.”

“You’re gonna get something for me anyways, right? I want boots.”

“You can’t just _tell_ me,” Shizuo shook his head. “It’s supposed to be a surprise!”

“Are you not going to get me something I want?”

“That’s not it!”

“Well, I want these.”

“Too bad,” Shizuo scoffed.

“ _Shizu-chan_!”

“I already got you something!”

“Return it and get me these, then.”

“That’s not how it works!”

“Would you rather me just return whatever you got me so I could get something I actually wanted instead?”

“You don’t know what I got you, so you might _actually_ like it, you know!”

At that, Izaya only offered him an incredulous look.

Shizuo sighed, “You’re such a pain in the ass…” He meandered away from the shoe deparement.

Izaya reluctantly followed, bidding his boots a woeful adieu.

“What should I get Kasuka?” Shizuo asked, changing the subject. They were in the men’s clothing department, and Shizuo was walking down the aisles, looking a bit lost.

Izaya didn’t want to give up on the boots, nor did he think it made much sense to buy an actor, who probably wore the most lavish of designer names on a regular basis, something cheap from a discount store. But in the mood of the holiday, Izaya decided not to say that out loud. “I’m not touching that one with a ten foot pole. Sorry, Shizu-chan, that’s up to you.”

“Bastard…” Shizuo frowned, looking around a little helplessly. “Every year… Kasuka gets me something really nice. Really thoughtful, too. Mine’s never as good, and it frustrates me to all hell! And I know that he knows I can’t afford the nicest of things, but I’d like to get him something… something nicer than the crap I usually get him.”

Izaya thought about that for a moment, and his nose crumpled. “Are you sleeping with me for money to buy your brother nice things? That’s fucked up.”

Shizuo barked at him. “No! I’m just venting, goddammit!” He knocked over a mannequin. “Forget it!”

After that, a brief silence fell over them, a silence filled with the roar of the crowd and the tinny sound of Jingle Bells over the loudspeakers. Shizuo violently pushed through the racks of clothes, with no real purpose other than doing something with his hands.

Watching him, Izaya hummed a regretful sound. ‘Venting.’ _Ah, right, boyfriends and girlfriends are supposed to be good for that sort of thing._

“Kasuka probably...” Izaya started thoughtfully, “He probably doesn’t care what you get him, honestly. And not like he doesn’t care, but he probably keeps whatever useless piece of garbage you give to him regardless of how useless it is, because you gave it to him. He knows you definitely plague your tiny little brain year after year trying to come up with something. It’s not worth the strife, in my opinion.”

Shizuo looked up, a bit of the anger subsided from his vision. Though he regarded Izaya a bit suspiciously, weighing the words in his mind. Then, he nodded in solemn agreement.

“You two are gross,” Izaya added quickly, and Shizuo lightly punched his arm.

In the end, Izaya didn’t even see what Shizuo bought for Kasuka, since he had insisted he pay for this one on his own. When Shizuo returned to Izaya’s side with another bag slung around his body, Izaya didn’t care enough to ask.

* * *

Just as he had planned, Izaya woke up Christmas morning in Shizuo’s bed. And not to the cold or to emptiness, but to several light kisses being pressed to his skin, from his temple to his neck.

Izaya hummed complacently, his lips curling into a sleepy smile as he felt Shizuo’s weight disappear from the mattress. Footsteps crossed from the bedroom to the kitchen, where Izaya could hear the clinking of dishes and the refrigerator open.

After a few more minutes lazing in bed, Izaya decided to get up as well. It was Christmas, after all. And he wasn’t a complete scrooge. He put on a Santa hat.

The first thing Izaya saw when he exited the bedroom were the two gifts sitting under the tree. One of them, the one that Izaya did not recognize as his own, was a wrapped box that was conspicuously just the right size to hold a certain pair of boots.

“Mornin’” Shizuo greeted with a mouthful of cereal. He sat at the kitchen table, watching a holiday special on the television across the apartment.

Izaya shivered against the chilly morning, pulling his sleeves over his fingers. Even in through his socks, the tiled floor of the kitchen was cool against his feet. “Not Merry Christmas?” he asked.

 _Crunch crunch._ “That too.” _Crunch crunch._

“Do you always just wake up and eat cereal on Christmas?”

Shizuo looked up at him curiously and shrugged. “Kinda… Always give out the gifts before hand unless I’m planning to see the folks today or tomorrow.”

True enough, most of the gifts they had collected at the mall had already been dispersed to their rightful recipients.

Izaya realized that, while he’d noticed Shizuo’s affinity for the holiday, he had no idea of what Shizuo actually _did_ on Christmas. They had been invited over to Shinra’s later that day for a dinner, but this was the first year for that, too, apparently. Celty wanted to try cooking an authentic Christmas dinner for a few people, and Shizuo and Izaya were two of those few people. At least, Shizuo was, and Izaya was just part of the package nowadays.

In retrospect, Izaya had no clue what he had expected from Shizuo on Christmas morning. A child jumping on the bed and screeching to open his presents? This was new to both of them, and Shizuo’s Christmas mornings hadn’t even been too different from Izaya’s. Waking up alone, to an empty apartment. Except Izaya didn’t have cereal in his apartment.

Surveying the large stock in Shizuo’s place, Izaya just didn’t have it in him to eat corn flakes or sugar oats that morning. He checked out the baking ingredients they had on hand, and he decided.

“I’m gonna make pancakes,” he announced.

Shizuo spit out his cereal. “Shit, really?”

Izaya laughed. “Yeah. Want some?”

“Hell yeah. I’ll help!”

So that’s what they did. They made a damned mess, flower in their hair and egg yoke on the counter. The first pancake burned, and the second was undercooked. Only by the third did they finally get down a working system going. Izaya poured the batter, Shizuo flipped them over. Soon, they had a plate stacked with pancakes, and they ate them at the counter as they made even more.

Izaya even filled and empty and cleaned ketchup bottle with batter so he could draw shapes in the pan. Christmas shapes, that is. A tree, Santa, a present, a snowflake… He wasn’t a very good artist, unfortunately.

“The hell is that?” Shizuo pointed at the face Izaya had drawn in the pan.

“It’s Rudolph!” Izaya claimed, taken aback. It was _obviously_ Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.

Chuckling, Shizuo teased, “That’s not Rudolph, that’s a demented Pokemon.”

“Fuck you, make your own damn Pokemon pancakes.”

Then, Shizuo thought that would be a good time to kiss Izaya. He wasn’t wrong, and Izaya leaned up and kissed him back, opening his mouth and welcoming a different kind of taste. Both smelled like warm butter. Their lips were sticky with syrup, but neither seemed to mind. Izaya was starting not to mind Christmas day at all anymore, and they remained like that for a while.

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer burned in a frying pan that Christmas.

**Author's Note:**

> r.i.p. Rudolph
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


End file.
